I’m feeling better. This is the moment that always scares me because it is in such close proximity to when I have felt my worst and I can still taste that bitterness and feel how …
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Afraid of the dark.
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Cotton Candy Cancer of the Brain.
You wouldn't think the two would go together, would you? Well, in the wonderful world of depression, all things are possible.
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Lies I tell myself.
All of those qualifications would lead one to think I had no trouble connecting the letters in the word "decide." And it took me about six tries in the course of three minutes to figure out that my answer on the game kept getting rejected because I was misspelling "decide." It took me another minute and a half I'd guess to figure out how to actually spell it.
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Somebody’s hand over my mouth.
If you’ve seen Panic Room, and if you have depression, you might already know what I’m about to describe. There’s this stock scene in literature and films where a person answers the door on a “wellness …
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Wanna see me make myself disappear?
Of all the things in the world, I am best at this. It’s telling that in high school I got the superlative for most sarcastic–sarcasm can be a means of evading vulnerable conversations. As a …
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Thinkin’ bout leavin’ on a jet plane.
Dude. It's fucking not. I mean, sometimes it is. And maybe I speak for myself on this one but even when I am my most irrational, I almost always KNOW I am being irrational. I just can't control my emotions in hyper-drive and need a hot second, like you pushed the button or whatever on the Millennium Falcon but forgot you're approaching a yellow light at an intersection. Maybe my speed is wildly inappropriate, but depression hasn't eaten away so much of my brain that everything I say should be less credible than that of others.
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Picking things up.
If you feel like a goldfish in a bowl, disoriented and helpless because you were won by a kid at a county fair who didn’t actually want a goldfish, then same. What can I say? …
