Lies I tell myself.

3 thoughts on “Lies I tell myself.”

  1. You are a beautiful writer. I’m glad you write. It’s a way of processing and dealing, and it seems like you don’t have many outlets for expressing your struggles. This quote really resonated with me: That’s why people have suicidal ideation. Because when your condition is unbearable for you, the pain is scathing when you’re a curse on somebody else.

    Earlier this year, this was exactly me. Unable to work, in residential treatment, my husband carrying everything for our family. I couldn’t stand how much of a burden I was to everyone around me. It nearly ate me alive. It did make me leave treatment earlier than recommended. It’s awful to feel this way and the way you wrote it was a perfect fit for it.

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    1. I thought I replied to this but I must have done so in my head lol. I don’t know about beautiful but I certainly appreciate it. I think your perception is right. I’m really struggling to find outlets right not and engage with people. Whether it’s Twitter or in real life, it seems like everybody understandably is so busy with their own lives it would just be selfish for me to stop them to talk. It’s just kind of feels like I am in wonderland and everybody is a white rabbit.

      I am sorry for what you went through. I can only imagine how that felt. I’ve never done residential before. Do you mind if I ask if it helped?

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      1. Treatment was pretty wild. I did a daytime program for 3 weeks and then residential for 6 weeks. It was really hard at first but the longer I was there the safer I felt and I actually didn’t want to leave. The other residents were amazing and could understand in a way no one else had been and that was super cool. I’m in touch with some of them still and I’ve been out for 3 months. The focus at res is to get the food in or get your medical health stable so it can feel really overwhelming to work on the outside before you’ve fixed the inside. I would definitely recommend an intake to see what level of care is recommended. You can just see without commuting to anything.

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